- I understand — Leesa, Thu Jan 31 19:21
- I know exactly how you feel — Rebecca Colquitt, Sat Jan 12 08:44
- Dear Becky... — Diane Cheryl, Fri Jan 11 11:22
Becky
1 Week Later
Wed Jan 9 20:26:37 2002
I was only 7 weeks. I had only known for 9 days. I thought that if I just got it over with, and not think about it, that I could toss it out like a bad dream. I was supposed to be a Christian. But I didnt even think of the other choices I had. I thought there was no other choice. I was so consumed with the way my body would look afterward, the things my parents, friends, family, and people at church would say, I felt I had no other option. But now I am sitting here, in awe at my decision. I have a picture of it, it's so small... I can't believe it was inside me. A little baby. I don't know if it would have been a little boy or little girl. I didnt think about that. I just cut off it's life, choosing for it whether it should live or not, all because I was so consumed with my looks and reputation. I don't know what to do with myself now. I am empty inside. And the father? He says he just doesnt think about it. He wasn't the one lying on that cold cheap bed, listening to the cheap soft music that was suppose to make everything better and smelling that aromatherpy candle that was supposed to make you relax while you were awake and feeling everything get sucked out of you. Yeah, he's troubled too. But does he have any idea what I'm going through? He asks me, but he talks a lot so when I even want to say a single thought it gets thrown out with the rest. "Just don't think about it. It's over. There's nothing you can do now. Forget it." But I cant.
