- The Cure Is The Pain — Rumi, Fri Dec 27 09:44
- Re: IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 10:38
- Questions — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 13:30
- Re: Questions — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 14:03
- Re: Questions — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 14:37
- diplomacy — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 21:53
- Re: diplomacy — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 21:57
- What disruptions? — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 22:15
- Re: What disruptions? — Anonymous, Fri Dec 27 00:11
- I never said... — Anonymous, Fri Dec 27 00:57
- because they are in it for the money — Anonymous, Thu Dec 26 09:25
Anonymous
IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wed Dec 25 22:31:39 2002
It makes me so mad. I killed my inosent, unborn baby because I did not know what I was doing.
I, like many woman, found myself with an unplanned pregancy. And, like many woman, found myself reacting.
I didn't believe in abortion, but when I found myself pregant, scared, alone, and confused, abortion seamed like the answer. Not the best answer but something that would just have to be done. After all, "it was legal. Woman did it all the time. It would be better for the baby not to be born, I was doing him/her a favor." That's what I told myself. I didn't think about it alot, I had to be "strong", make my decision and go threw with it. It was what had to be done, and quick, because the bigger the baby got the worse it would seem.
The thing was, I didn't really want to do it. I wanted someone to stop me.
My experience at the abortion clinic was fine. Everyone was very nice. I don't remember any of the actual abortion because of the shot they gave me, and other than the fact that my first two periods were so bad that blood would pour down my legs I have had no complications(So far). Everything would have been fine except one thing. I missed my baby. I wondered about my baby. I wanted my baby back. I tried to repress these feelings ,again, telling myself it was for the best. My self esteem vanished, nothing was fun any more, I couldn't consentrate or make decisions, I told anyone who would listen "I had an abortion, so any way hows your day", and several other inapropriate things and then would think to myself "Did I just say that?", I cried all the time, started having severe anxiety, I felt dirty, then one day I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize my own face. I had lost all touch with myself and reality, and had no idea what was going on. I was crying alot, but not consiously about my baby. Then, one day I accidently ran across a post abortion web site and started reading about other womans stories. instantly I knew what a mistake I had made, I knew that all the emotional problems I started having were a result of that one "little" decision. And, for the first time ,I cried over my baby. It felt great,because for the first time I agnoliged her.
So what about abortion makes me so mad? The fact that it's looked at as an every day natural, normal, thing to do if it seems like the right choice at the time, kind of like going to get your hair done. I believe the term used at the clinic I went to was "It's like getting a tooth pulled. Your in, your out, and it's over." well ya know what, you are in and you are out, just like that. But its not just like pulling a tooth. Your taking your childs life.
and its not over. You will have to deal with the consequences of knowing what you did. It will effect you in some way. Part of you dies with that baby. I will never be the same and it makes me so mad. Why was it so easy for me to kill my baby, why don't they tell you all the facts.
