- good for you - jennifer, Thu Dec 12 14:14
Casey
Re: *smile*
Thu Dec 12 13:50:24 2002
Jennifer~
That is how I spell my name~I never wrote it that way because it's unusual. I saw the Jeff (the father) this past Sunday, doing a promotion for the radio station. It hurt so much to have him turn his back on me, and completly ignore me when he saw me. He was talking to a couple of younger guys, and they kept looking past him at me. I thought to myself, "If he's telling them that I'm this psycho that's stalking him and in love with him, oh, I will set them straight." But he kept ignoring me, so I finally just said his radio name as loud as I could, and he finally looked at me. I told him that I needed the folder that has all the abortion information and my paperwork, because I needed to start going to a psychologist. He said okay, and that he would call me later in the week. Imagine my suprise when he called me the next day. Fortunely, I was baby-sitting, and told him to hold on. The baby started crying, and I told him I would have to call him back, and then hung up. Well, he ended up calling back a few hours later, and I let the little girl answer the phone. She said it was her daddy, and I played along. He hung up, and hasn't called since. I haven't called him at all. I started going to a psychologist yesterday, and she has been so helpful and understanding. I told her that I didn't call back because when I needed him at Thanksgiving, since it was the 3 month anniversary of my abortion, he wasn't there. I will call him when I have time to get the folder~I'm not going to run around in circles to please him anymore. The psychologist also said she recognized all the classic symptoms of grieving in me. The moment I mentioned my abortion to her, I broke down, sobbing non-stop for about 15 minutes. She feels that Jeff took the coward's way out(she gave him the benefit of the doubt), by leaving me with a major decision to make on my own, even though he said he would stand behind whatever decision I made. She also feels that it's incredibly rude, shallow, insensitive, etc. of him to not be there. He was the only other person that shared this experience with me; like it or not, I was the mother of HIS child. She recommended that when HE calls me, to tell him that he and I have to sit down and talk, because I need him to listen, to support me, and to be there to talk, since I do think about it everyday, and that I could end up with severe depression. She recognizes a mild form of depression already, stemming from the fact that he's not owning up to what his responsibility still is, even though there's no baby anymore. I see her again tomorrow, which helps me so much. I'll write back, and thanks for being there.
~Kacee
