jennifer
good for you
Thu Dec 12 14:14:30 2002
kacee, i'm so happy that you're getting help! it's great that you'll have someone to talk to, someone to support you! i'm sorry about what happened with jeff. i was so scared when you said you wanted to talk to him, because that was how i was with shawn (my baby's father). i needed to know i wasn't alone, that he felt some sort of remorse, or something. he didn't.
be strong. i'm proud of you for confronting your abortion. i avoided it for so long, or at least my feelings about it. i thought i had been doing so good lately, being that i now have you and this support board to write to, along with my boyfriend, but i had another relapse last night. i watched the movie devil's advocate for the first time, and there is a scene where she dreams her ovaries are taken.
it had a baby in it, and it was gruesome. and i just collapsed inside.i got through the movie, and i tried to ignore the emotions i was experiencing, but i just broke down and cried for a long time, until i could cry no more, and then i couldn't sleep. i had three finals today, and i got no sleep last night.
let's just say, i don't look or feel very pretty right now.
anyway, i'm doing ok. greg, my boyfriend, has been keeping an eye on me in between his classes. he bought me lunch and then took me to his house for an hour nap, where he sweetly rubbed my head and back until i fell asleep. so here i am, checking in to make sure all is well.
oh kacee, i really am happy that you are talking to a psychologist. i hope it helps in the way you need it to.
anyway, i'll talk to you later.
keep me updated on how things are going.
if you ever need to talk, just write.
always,
jennifer
