I am pro choice, but.....

To a woman contemplating abortion

i read your message... I just want you to know what happened to me. I had broke up with my boyfriend, then found out i was pregnant. I told him and we were both happy at first. Then i realized he was going to leave me, and he promised he would stay thru my pregnancy. Well, he didn't. I thought i couldn't do it alone, didn't really want to. I thought of my baby as an "it" not yet a human. I am pro choice. I arranged rather quickly, not thinking it thru enough, that i wanted an abortion. My friends were all supportive. Those friends are no longer supportive; see, i like many women suffer from post abortion stress syndrome. My friends don't understand what that means. If you have checked out this site, you will have read about it; therefore i won't go into detail. I knew right away i had made a mistake.

It is the worse feeling in the world, to know lying on that table, that you can't take it back. I have struggled with depression, flashbacks, anxiety and a big sense of loss. I also struggle with guilt, the guilt of having actually taken a life, yes a life. I believe now that life begins at conception. No it didn't look like a peanut, or a glob of jelly; it had arms, legs and eyes and moved around, although it was too early for me to feel.

I was 9 weeks. I lost my life after i lost my child, i had to give up my apartment because i was too unstable to stay alone, and the memories, well they were overwhelming. I nearly lost my job, and it will be a constant reminder, babies and pregnant women everywhere,every day, commmercials, movies etc. It haunts me, and it goes right into the night. I like most women who have this thing called PASS: experience nightmares, terrible terrible ones, dead babies,crying babies, you name it; visit the dream board.

I am just letting you know my personal experience. I am a 29 year old woman,who wouldn't recommend this to anyone. I do believe however, that some women do just fine, i know some of these women who actually think i am crazy and that there is no such thing as post abortion stress syndrome. I am just telling you there is, read about it. Read about your fetus that is developing everyday. Good luck to you, and please make a wise, informed decision. I will be thinking of you, let us know what you decide.

name withheld.


edited, but not for content

From Unplanned Pregnancy Discussions Board. Reprinted with permission

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