Gloria
more thoughts for Jenifer
Mon Jan 6 21:44:51 2003
Kacee,
Thanks for writing back.
The most important thing is for Jenifer to know all the different sides of everything, to find out as much as she can. Find out from her what she'd need to make things work for her. It's nice of her to tell you that she would keep her child if you had kept hers. However, she can't make the decision even based on that, as you are probably aware. She also could react a lot more poorly than you did. Probably the best thing you can do for her is to get her to think as much as she can about this, think of all the ramifications. Ask her a lot of questions. If she realizes there are alternatives, and she is able to examine into the depths of her heart, she may be able to make a decision she can live with. If there's anything I have learned from talking to women it's that people like Jeff are very common, women often want more than anything else to get REAL support from the father, but they rarely get it (but it does happen), and that often they can't really predict how they will react once everything is said and done. Above all, Jenifer needs to examine her heart. What does she really want, deep inside? What things does she think are standing in the way? If those things weren't there, what would she really want to do? Is there a way those needs can be met? Is she choosing freely if there is no viable way she can choose anything but abortion? In my experience the women least likely to have trouble afterwards are the ones who did a lot of deep thinking, but even that is no guarantee they'll be happy with the decision they make, in the long run. As they say, hindsight is always 20/20, and the trick is to have foresight, and to be able to make a good decision with insuffcient information, especially information about how a woman will react in the long run, as she matures, and has time to think about it.
Give Jenifer my love, and tell her we're praying for her.
