- thank you melanie — jennifer, Mon Dec 2 14:34
- you're welcome — Melanie, Mon Dec 2 15:09
Melanie
Help
Fri Nov 29 05:33:13 2002
First of all, what you are going through is not terribly uncommon. Sometimes I think it helps to know that you are not alone in this. The tears and the grieving are normal and healthy, even if they are painful now. You lost someone very close to you, and getting over that takes a lot of time. It is also very difficult to acknowledge because of the circumstances, and you are actually moving on to some extent by recognizing this and going through the process rather than just holding the emotions in. I know it's really tough, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It may never completely stop hurting, but in time it is likely that this will not be so all encompassing in your life forever. If you were to lose a loved one from any other circumstance, experts would tell you that it takes 1-2 years to gain some sense of normalcy (although there is no set timetable.)
I wish I could tell you how to resolve things in your own heart. That is a personal and individual matter. I am glad that you have a supportive boyfriend. Just having one person that can support you and not belittle you can make a world of difference.
Some women find making a memorial of some sort to their child beneficial. I can look up some online sites for you if you are interested. Some choose instead to plant something in honor of their child, to sponsor a child (if able financially to do so), or to make some sort of personal memento or tribute. Give yourself permission to grieve, but also take some breaks from it to do something that takes your mind off it occasionally. Do continue your studies (I know it's hard to do that while grieving) so you can at least have some hope for the future.
I am so sorry that you are having to experience this pain.
If you ever need to just let it out, please feel free to continue to post. If you don't see me respond here, you can also e-mail me.
If you think talking to others can help, there are support groups out there, and I'd be happy to help you locate one if you feel it would help you.
God bless,
Melanie
