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Suckers Need Not Apply


"I won't get bad luck, lose my friends, lose my mailing lists, hear any music or see a cool pop up screen if don't forward this. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me and Ford will not give me a 50% percent discount even if I HAVE forwarded my e-mail to more than 50 people. I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons or freebies from Coke Cola, Cracker Barrel, or Old Navy if I send this to 10 people who don't know who I am anyway.

I will NEVER see a pop up window if I forward this....NEVER!!!! My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward this. There is NO SUCH THING as an Email tracker, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding this to 10 or more people. There is no kid with cancer through the Make a Wish program in England collecting anything. He did when he was 7 yrs old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANYMORE POSTCARDS, CALLING CARDS OR GET WELL CARDS!

The government does not have a bill in congress called 901B(or whatever they named it this week) that if passed will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every sent e- mail. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flower, character, or program I will receive immediately after I forward this. People are just trying to talk me into doing it to make me look like a fool.

The American Red Cross will not donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never heard of before disease for every email address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations, they don't donate! And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things on to my friends for fear they will think I am not their friend...or by telling me I have no conscience.

If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it along... but even if it does come by e-mail, HE will send me one at which point I'm SURE I will know it will be from HIM. AND if He does, I'm sure He will care enough to delete all those annoying forwarded's in it!"

Now, repeat this 4 times to yourself until you've memorized it and then send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will be constipated for the next 3 months.

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