To: All employees of Castro's Dairy--Havana branch
Re: EXCESSIVE ABSENCES
Due to the excessive number of absences from this office, the following rules and procedures will be put into effect as of this date.
SICKNESS--We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY--We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation, as we believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have, and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.
DEATH IN THE FAMILY--This is no excuse; there is nothing you can do for them anyway, and we are sure that someone else with a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.
EMPLOYEE DEATH--This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two week's notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
RESTROOM POLICY--Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For example, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15; names beginning with "B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30; and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again.